The last few years I think, forced way, much about the question:”When am I at my limits, when do I cross this limit and when not”.
I am already aware of the fact that nowadays I reach my personal limits faster than before, say, 10 years ago. The sudden drop in hearing not only caused me to hear less, but also made my tinnitus (ear noise) grow louder. And tinnitus has the unpleasant tendency to become increasingly audible, especially when you are stressed or tired. Though I am fortunately not suffering from my tinnitus, I am aware that it plays a hidden role when I try to listen for a long time.
Now I have become accustomed to using the word “no” now and then, when there is too much coming my way and I try to spread out demanding activities as much as possible. But from a purely technical point of view, I’m interested in the question of when do you reach your limits? We constantly read in the media that our society is more and more “burned out” at risk. You have to be available at all times, overtime is now normal. And woe betide the one who dares to say no to his boss.
Despite the wealth of information on this phenomenon, I still do not know where this harmful tendency comes from.
My own speculations are these: Does the changed industry and economy have anything to do with it? Or does it have something to do with the fact that before decennial parents have set ever fewer and fewer boundaries for their children and that such a (or even two) generation has grown up that has not learned to set boundaries for itself and its surroundings? For example, self-control is something that needs to be learned and does not come naturally to us.
I know from myself that I lose my self-control more quickly when I am very tired or stressed, although I usually have good self-control.
But when do you start saying “enough is enough”? Personally, I have had to learn to set my limits and I am still in the process of learning. I now recognize all the physical symptoms that signal my limits, so that I can decide for myself whether I should not go beyond my limits, or that I go beyond them and that then it is really over. Only when you recognize your own limits can you consciously choose how to deal with it. Or use its limits preventively.
Admittedly, sometimes I am a bit envious of people who show their limits in an apparently natural way. I still find it sometimes difficult to say no! However, I am convinced that the statement, boundaries create identity, is correct. Those who manage to set clear boundaries for themselves and others are respected and the boundaries are accepted. And sometimes, to my surprise, my boundaries are also accepted and respected.
Why is it still so difficult?